You read that correct. A Father has no rights!
You’re shocked I just said that right?! Well, let’s face it, it’s true.
After a separation, unless a Mother is an outright drug addict, peodophile or found to be physically abusive then she holds all rights and decision making authority when it comes to the child. Now, just because a court sees the Mother as the Child’s main care giver, it doesn’t make her a good parent. It’s not that black and white unfortunately.
A Father could be the most amazing Father, named on the birth certificate, provides financial support, emotional support and never fails to be there for pick up and drop off. You could put your child before yourself in every aspect of life, you could go above and beyond your allocated days and times to see your child . You could care deeply about their health and wellbeing and want only the best for them but never forget….
…You are ONLY a Father. You have no rights!
There has been a lot of movement in the campaign for equal rights for Fathers but no matter what anyone says. It still does not exist.
Before I go on let’s make this clear, I understand every situation is different and I am sure there are many dead beat Dads out there who don’t deserve the precious time most good Fathers fight so hard for and I know there are some excellent Mothers who step up and take on the role of both parents because the child’s Father is a selfish let down and in order for the Mums to protect their children from hurt and heart break they are forced to stop access once and for all. These are not the cases I am referring to today. These Fathers (if you can call them that) can fall of the face of the earth for all I care and the Mothers deserve a medal for their strength.
My sadness, anger, outrage and desire to write this is for the Fathers who own their title. The Fathers who role model and love their child with every inch of their being yet find themselves battling with Mothers, lawyers, judges just to gain access never mind equal rights to the Mother.
As I said. Many Mothers are great but some are not. Some lie and deceive the system to get their own way and the sad thing is, they don’t always do this because they have the child’s best interests at heart. They do it to get 1 up, point score and make every last effort possible to hurt their ex partner (after all who cares about the child’s welfare right?!)
Mothers like this have been known to manipulate the child in a way that is very difficult to detect and can turn the child against their Father or solidify their loyalty to their untrustworthy Mother. They will inform the child of adult conversations, tell them lies or unnecessary facts in an attempt at lowering the child’s perception of their Father and conveniently they will miss out any information that might make them look or sound bad as a parent. When a child returns home from spending time with their Father these Mums might question the child or make sly remarks to put down the child’s Father which can make the child reluctant to open up in future due to fear of unwanted comment. These Mothers are also known for encouraging the child to lie which in turn teaches them lying is acceptable. These Mothers mould and groom these children without a care for their mental health or emotional wellbeing and the scary part is, most of these Mothers don’t realise what they are doing is wrong.
Does that sound like a stable minded person to you? No! Definitely not. This sounds like someone with no self-awareness who puts their own selfish wants before the needs of their child. So why do these woman have full custody or increased access/ rights over a Father?
Does reading this get your back up? As a Mother reading this do you feel yourself getting on the defence? Well stop! There is no justification for this type of behaviour. If you are attempting to justify this then maybe your not as good a Mother as you thought!
Mothers who act in this way are far more common than you think and this type of behaviour is called ‘Malicious Mother Syndrome’.
More needs to be done not only to stop this from happening but to help these Mothers (I understand it has been known for Fathers to do this also but it is named ‘Malicious Mother syndrome’ because it is more common in woman than in men and for the sake of this blog I am referring to Mothers) These Mothers inflict negative statements, comments and actions on their child thinking they are doing right. This is dangerous as assuming they are in the right means they will continue to do this which will only increase the risk of the child suffering emotionally and mentally in the future.
Emotional manipulation can have a stressful, depressive, anxiety inducing affect on a child’s long term mental health and for this reason it should be deemed abusive. This form of abuse needs to be taken seriously by parents, schools, councillors, social work and the courts.
It is so common for Mothers to act in this way that the behaviour has even been given name, so why are courts not making more of an effort to grill these parents, to reduce the risk of children suffering this mental torture? It disgusts me to say but MOST courts fall for the Mothers bullshit hook, line and sinker. Or, do they overlook it for a quick straight forward result in order to move on to the next lot of paperwork?
These Mothers are not mentally stable however; they know what they are doing. They know making false accusations can’t always be proved but it will plant a seed of doubt towards the Father which can grow throughout a court case.
Why is this happening? Why is this even allowed? The solution is to automatically allow both parents 50/50 rights / access from birth, unless there is justified reasoning to increase/ decrease this or unless a parent opts out.
Why does a Mother automatically have the final say?
We trust our courts to make the most ethical decisions possible. The court system houses highly qualified ‘intelligent’ professionals yet they are letting hard working, honest Fathers down on a daily basis. There seems to be some common sense lacking and it has and will continue to affect our Children’s wellbeing.
Proving this is happening to your child is difficult so we need to find away that avoids Children being put in this situation in the first place. Things need to change. This is the 21st Century. Mothers no longer stay home all day, Fathers can be home makers (some better than most Mothers ever could) so why are we still living in the past. A Mothers automatic rights is such an outdated way to think.
You may be asking yourself why I felt the need to write about such a topic, after all I am a Mother and I have all the rights but I have grew up in this situation and I view my Daughters Father as 100% equal to me (whether the courts do or not is an entirely different story) I’ve been an unwanted child, I have been brought up by a non biological parent who cared far more than my blood father ever could. I’ve seen amazing Dads fight and lose against terrible manipulative Mothers. I’ve seen Fathers who don’t deserve access Coast easily through the system. I’ve seen my Step-Dad fight with so much love and passion just to lose against his daughters Grand parents, not even a Biological Mother. I’ve seen relatives break down over horrendous battles that appear to have very simple solutions yet their made difficult by people refusing to let go and insist on holding a grudge but more recently I have had to listen to my 11year old Step Son tell us what his Mother has been saying to him simply because he wanted to see his Dad more…
Do you love your Dad more?
If you live with your Dad they will stop you seeing me and your Brother
If you live with your Dad my money will go down and we won’t be able to afford gas and electric
If you stay here I will have internet installed for you and I’ll take you out every week.
If you move in with your Dad I will have no one to talk to because your Brother is only 6 whereas your Dad has his girlfriend to talk to (me)
These are just a few of the worse statements made. She also broke down in tears and profusely cried which made him feel extreme guilt over asking to stay at his Dads. We know all these things were said on more than 1 occasion because my Step Son told us and it hurt him how upset his Mum was. He now wants to live with his Mum (no surprise there, what child wouldn’t after that kind of guilt trip) which we are ok with however, he now won’t open up. He’s frightened to speak and if we ask if he wants to stay an extra night he becomes worried what his Mum will think. He is very closed off and no longer speaks at all when we discuss his living arrangements etc. He has become very withdrawn and unhappy.
It breaks my heart to think so many Children are suffering this mental abuse.
Fuck Fathers have no rights! Fathers deserve rights! More so than some Mothers. It’s time the courts got a grip, opened their eyes and started looking out for a child’s welfare and not just a Mothers ‘feelings’
Fathers for 50/50! Why? Because Mummy Said So !
If you are a Mother who agrees then help fight for Fathers rights #fathersrights #mummysaidso
Please share your stories or experiences below. People need to know how common these situations are. Share this article and let us fight for good parents. Let us lead the way for better co-parenting or at least open peoples eyes to why so many Fathers deserve to have 50/50.
If you have any ideas on how to make a change, start a movement or know of any place, movement or persons who can help. Please let us know.
We need change. Mothers need to be held accountable and Fathers deserve to be treated as equal.
No more parentism. No more favouring the mother when there is another parent who truly cares enough to fight for access.
I am a Mum who is proud to support 50/50 rights for GOOD Fathers.
I’m tired of hearing about all the dead beat Dads so let’s focus our attention to the Fathers who truly deserve their title. Fathers who genuinely want to be involved in their children’s lives. Let’s rally around the good Dads! #fathersfor50/50 #mummysaidso